Ever heard anyone complain about having to eat lunch (bah humbug) with his/her boss? Sure, you did. Whether it’s the dreaded (or celebrated!) company holiday party or a one-on-one (because we all know it’s a meeting, not really lunch), many find themselves a little short of appetite with the thought of eating with the boss.
Fortunately for me, I’ve had bosses who
1) Really just wanted to eat – why talk about work when we’re eating? Are you insane?
2) Personally took the time to get to know me
3) Knew how to connect with me so that we can always have an honest conversation
4) Understood my appetite for sweets, even when it made me sick afterwards
I enjoyed speaking to them, receiving feedback (negative and positive), and MOST importantly, spending time with them, because I knew that in the bigger scheme of things, my bosses were personally invested in my success. (Or… I was always an incredibly narcissistic and optimistic individual. Take your pick.)
They were invested in the success of the organization but also in the idea of how my skills do and will continue to add value to the team. These are the bosses you meet along the way who help shape the leader you will become tomorrow. You look back and wish you could have done more to help solidify their vision.
Unfortunately, for some people, the thought of sitting face to face with a boss for any longer than I can say “bon appetite” can make them want to visit Chi-pot-e.coli.
And this is very bad news, indeed.
According to a recent article in the Harvard Business Review, “cooperative behavior … was considerably greater – about twice as high – among team members who ate with one another than among those who didn’t”. The article explores the research by Kevin M Kniffin and his team at Cornell University, which argues that there is a “deceptively simple method” for building more cohesive teams.
This simple method is to simply “encourage teams to eat together”. (Eat and you shall receive!)
After all, we live in a time where many employees find no value in “mundane” company gatherings, and most company events are seen as “Dilbertesque symbol of managers’ wrongheaded attempts to create intimacy among employees.” (HBR, December 2015) You’re welcome – I’ve added a link to define “Dilbertesque” for those who may need to google it – anyone born in the 90s?!
Needless to say, it’s evident that such types of gatherings whether it’s over lunch, a company cook-a-thon, or coffee, are important and maybe even “extraordinarily meaningful” in building collaboration.
Yes, lunch and breaks are meant to be “our time” or personal time.
But there is great value in investing your time to sit down with your boss and to ask the most important question of all, “hey boss, how are you?” Humanize the process.
And so in return, there is tremendous value in sitting down with your staff to ask them how they’re doing, to put a face to that email signature, and to understand what makes your staff thrive at work. (Do you know what makes your staff happy? And bad managers, please take heed: this is not your chance to invite employees out to “fish” for info or use personal information against them at a later time. Use that time, instead, to go seek out a therapist.)
So start building that relationship with your staff, your boss, and your coworkers – one bite at a time. It will be well worth your time, and it can come with a great meal and perhaps even a friendship that you will come to appreciate.
Happy Holidays, everyone!
Dream a Career 
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