Top 10 Tips Guaranteed to Make You Happier and Wildly Successful in Your Twenties (20s)

 

Oh, How we WISH we knew this back then.

“Remember, your 20s only happen ONCE in a lifetime”

PART One: #1 through #5

We asked our Fearless Leaders in their Thirties (30s) – AKA my friends (thanks, girls!) – to take a trip down memory lane for some career advice and life lessons to share with their Fabulous Twenties (20s) counterparts.

Here’s a list of what they learned in their 20s, some things they wish they could have known back then, and why they think you’d be happier if you follow these 10 tips for success.

1.  Millenials, Be Fearless. #feelthehope

• Fear is the most debilitating and paralyzing enemy we had in our 20s. Fear of failure, being alone, being unlikeable, not meeting others’ expectations, and/or being embarrassed have all held us back at one point in our lives. The trick is to redefine fear in your mind. Understand that fear is a natural, common feeling and phenomenon for all of us (even the BEST of us!). “Fearless” in our books doesn’t necessarily mean that we never feel fear.   On the contrary, it means that we know what fear feels like – that knee-shaking, heart-stopping moment at some point in our lives.  “Fearless” to us means that we’ve learned to actually overcome it.  We’ve felt it, but we still kept going.  We pushed and pushed forward, no matter what, because we knew it was the right thing to do. And we did so with that idealism and passion of a Twenty Something year old.  So when you fear something or someone, understand that like all other emotions, fear does not have to define or drive the decisions you make in your 20s.

2. Work. Work HARD. Like, REALLY HARD.

• If you find yourself glancing over any get rich quick schemes or constantly updating yourself about who’s on the 30 under 30 list, know that nearly 99% of your success will be the direct result of nothing else but sweating it in your 20s. Overtime? Check. Volunteering on Weekends? Double Check. Part time school on evenings? Check. If you’re defining your work day as a 8 AM coffee to 4:59 PM let’s run out the door, we can guarantee that success will not come knocking on your door.  Work hard. Commit to ensuring that your work is a reflection of your best self and know that you will always be your own best advocate. From the shortest memos to the most complex program designs, own it! Yes, “work smarter, not harder” – we have all heard that phrase, but understand that nothing worth having in life will be handed to you. Throw away your sense of entitlement. If you truly want something, work for it and be ready to roll up your sleeves when opportunity knocks.

3. Be Ready to Welcome Failures – in ALL Aspects of Your life. 

• Failed relationships? Been there. Failed Career moves? Yup. Failed to pay the Credit Cards? Ouch! We have an Acronym to describe the not so glamorous days of our 20’s: FFOYF – Fall Flat On Your Face. No matter how smart, how beautiful, how gifted and special you are, the inevitable moment FFOYF will come. We realize that you’ve heard this a thousand times  already, but really, life is about being ready to learn from your failures and mistakes. (That’s the 1,001st time you’ve heard it, so know that it’s something worth remembering!) And we’re very sorry to say this, but sometimes, the harder you fall, the softer the blow on your long-term well being. (Think of it as the Universe practicing tough love for you.) Sometimes, we just had to trust that things were meant to break apart to fall into its ideal place.  And the only way we could ever run faster (or fly even), was by first learning how to get back up.  The important thing is that we recognized the reasons behind our failures and we promised ourselves to be better from it, not worse.

4. Learn as Much as You Can / Actively Seek Out Opportunities to Build Skills.

• Have a Coursera account? Log in. Udacity? DO it! Skillshare? What are you waiting for? Learn to knit, create illustrations, code, build websites, and otherwise build as many skill as you can and want. Ever catch yourself saying, ‘Oh yeah, that sounds interesting. Maybe I’ll do it.” Well, turn that “Maybe” into a “Must”, and you will be glad you did in your 30s. Any technique and/or skill that you pick up in your 20s will become a huge asset in your 30s.  Whether it’s volunteering to help out another team’s project or assisting a Manager to help launch his/her plan, be proactive in seeking out new opportunities for growth.

5. Be Your Own Best Friend.

• For us, this was the most difficult part of it all. In our 20s, we were so busy being critical of ourselves and so engrossed in the idea of trying to be a certain “Me” that we had to re-learn what it meant to feel comfortable in our skin again.  We can’t stress the importance of investing in who you are. Whether it’s taking up a hobby or relaxing by the beach for 30 minutes or having a glass of your favorite tea in the morning, don’t hesitate to set aside some time for you and you alone. And please do talk to yourself. (Ok, so maybe not in public.) Tell yourself it’s going to be great, that tomorrow is going to be awesome, and that everything will turn out okay in the end. To summarize, treat yourself the way you’d want to be treated by that Ideal Guy you’ve been trying to dream into reality. (We’ll touch upon this mega-important issue in Part 2, hoho!)

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Hope you enjoyed our humble Part 1 to thriving in your fabulous 20s.

Any comments or suggestions? Feel free to email us or leave your thoughts below.

<Careergal’s Part 1 from The 30 Something Girls’ Guide to Surviving, NO, Thriving in your Twenties ! >

#imwithher #feelthebern

Enchanted Forest Review: Stress Busting with Basford’s Coloring Book

Enchanted Forest by Johanna Basford

Quick Review of Enchanted Forest : “Inky Quest & Coloring Book”

Looking for an activity that doesn’t require too much brain power yet leaves you feeling accomplished at the end? Adult coloring books are becoming more popular than ever, and it’s become a staple of fun, creative, and stress reducing activity at home or at work.  Zen out by coloring these pages during your breaks and lunch time.

 

3 Reasons We Love This Book

1. Beautiful Illustrations

Basford transports you to an enchanted world with gorgeous illustrations.  Who wouldn’t want to color this dragon?!?!?

2.  Chance to Make it OURS

You can make this book completely yours (free rein on colors and for those of us who aren’t so great at illustrations – hey, it’s all laid out for us already.)  Autonomy and Creative Ownership is precious! Feel free to make it yours.

I felt no shame in designating a title for my enchanted self, either

3. Activities within Each Page

Each page comes with symbols that you can discover! If you are an investigative soul, unleash that Sherlock Holmes in you to find these hidden symbols.

 

 

 

Overall, the Enchanted Forest is a beautiful collection of illustrations that sends us back to our childhood dreams of princesses, dragons, and magical creatures.  It makes a wonderful gift for “adults” of  ALL AGES who love art and enjoy coloring.  

 

 

Enchanted Forest is available on Amazon Books

 

 

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” -Steve Jobs-

 

One of the most beloved commencement speeches belong to Steve Jobs, who reminded the graduating class of 2005 to “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish”.

Beginning this Monday with a perfect reason to stay hungry and ending it with a bold reminder that  “everything else is secondary”.

#motivationmonday #leadership #stevejobs #motivationalquotes #tech #inspire

 

Leaders- Why We Shouldn’t Hide Behind Texts

As more and more Millennials enter the workplace, especially as first-time Managers, we may fall into the dangerous pit of texting feedback to employees.

Rather than taking the time to talk to employees in person (you mean we have to look at these people!??!?!) to tell them how great their performance has been so far, some leaders choose to … text.

(TEXT: You’ve been really great so far. I think you’re doing an awesome job! Thank you for all the hard work you’ve been doing! I want you to know how talented you are and how much I appreciate your hard work.  REALITY: I am literally sitting 5 feet away from you, but I will take the time to send long texts instead of walking over to talk to you. Because you know, that’s like way too much trouble for me. You’re so not worth that 5 ft. walk.)

And even worse, some leaders choose to have difficult conversations with their employees over text. (Warning: This behavior is the EQUIVALENT of breaking up with someone over a text!!! And I have yet to hear of a “break-up over texting” that’s gone well.)

So what’s really wrong with texting here?

First, however, it’s important to note that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the act of texting your boss and/or your staff; it’s HOW you use the medium that matters.

Texting can be a wonderful tool for providing brief status updates or even for relaying simple, short messages of gratitude (Thanks for helping out earlier!).  Also, it can be a great tool to communicate simple messages and to share information or updates when speaking on the phone isn’t an option.

However, under no circumstances should texting be the go-to medium for providing important critique or for resolving conflict.

And here’s why:

Your INTENT can be LOST through the way in which the message is RECEIVED

 

 

As many of us may already know, intent is a tricky and elusive thing. We intend to say “great”, but at a certain point during our conversation, “great” can be reduced to “barely meeting expectations”. We’ve all been there before – either as managers or as staff- where you feel misunderstood and wonder how your grand intentions can be taken in such a damaging way.

As leaders, one of our most important commitments to our teams must be that we’re always willing and open to clarify our intent. (Ever heard of the art of persuasion? Trust me, you’ll need it as a Manager.) Texting is not the best medium for clarifying your intent, and hence, it should never be used to provide important feedback, such as critique on behavior or recognition of a job well done. (Text me to let me know that you’ll be 10 minutes late, not to tell me that we’re 10 days behind on the budget deadline!!) Remember that as a manager, it will not always be about your INTENT, but more so about the way in which the other person RECEIVES your message.

And to the managers who keep track of how many times you’ve recognized staff over texts or emails, we ask that you please stop keeping track because NONE of those recognitions have ever really reached your staff. And soon (hopefully), you’ll find out why.

Establishing a connection is key when you deliver your intent to another individual, and texting just isn’t the best medium for setting the stage for a real, human connection. Please save the important conversations for in-person meetings – well, unless you have to manage from overseas. Unless there is a logistical barrier (having to walk out of your office does not count as a barrier), start the new year by establishing renewed “human” connections with your staff and/or your boss- let them hear your enthusiasm when you say that they’ve done a “wonderful job!” Let them hear your apology instead of making them wonder whether you really meant it this time.

Take a brief pause to first think about how your intent will be received. Is texting your intent really the best way to deliver your message?

Start there, and it will be a new year in #Millenial management.

 

Happy Holidays and Happy Leading!

‘Tis the Season to Eat Together

 

Ever heard anyone complain about having to eat lunch (bah humbug) with his/her boss? Sure, you did. Whether it’s the dreaded (or celebrated!) company holiday party or a one-on-one (because we all know it’s a meeting, not really lunch), many find themselves a little short of appetite with the thought of eating with the boss.

Fortunately for me, I’ve had bosses who

1) Really just wanted to eat – why talk about work when we’re eating? Are you insane?

2) Personally took the time to get to know me

3) Knew how to connect with me so that we can always have an honest conversation

4) Understood my appetite for sweets, even when it made me sick afterwards

 

I enjoyed speaking to them, receiving feedback (negative and positive), and MOST importantly, spending time with them, because I knew that in the bigger scheme of things, my bosses were personally invested in my success. (Or… I was always an incredibly narcissistic and optimistic individual. Take your pick.)

They were invested in the success of the organization but also in the idea of how my skills do and will continue to add value to the team. These are the bosses you meet along the way who help shape the leader you will become tomorrow. You look back and wish you could have done more to help solidify their vision.

Unfortunately, for some people, the thought of sitting face to face with a boss for any longer than I can say “bon appetite” can make them want to visit Chi-pot-e.coli.

And this is very bad news, indeed.

 

According to a recent article in the Harvard Business Review, “cooperative behavior … was considerably greater – about twice as high – among team members who ate with one another than among those who didn’t”. The article explores the research by Kevin M Kniffin and his team at Cornell University, which argues that there is a “deceptively simple method” for building more cohesive teams.

This simple method is to simply “encourage teams to eat together”. (Eat and you shall receive!)

After all, we live in a time where many employees find no value in “mundane” company gatherings, and most company events are seen as “Dilbertesque symbol of managers’ wrongheaded attempts to create intimacy among employees.” (HBR, December 2015) You’re welcome – I’ve added a link to define “Dilbertesque” for those who may need to google it – anyone born in the 90s?!

Needless to say, it’s evident that such types of gatherings whether it’s over lunch, a company cook-a-thon, or coffee, are important and maybe even “extraordinarily meaningful” in building collaboration.

Yes, lunch and breaks are meant to be “our time” or personal time.

But there is great value in investing your time to sit down with your boss and to ask the most important question of all, “hey boss, how are you?” Humanize the process.

And so in return, there is tremendous value in sitting down with your staff to ask them how they’re doing, to put a face to that email signature, and to understand what makes your staff thrive at work. (Do you know what makes your staff happy? And bad managers, please take heed: this is not your chance to invite employees out to “fish” for info or use personal information against them at a later time. Use that time, instead, to go seek out a therapist.)

So start building that relationship with your staff, your boss, and your coworkers – one bite at a time. It will be well worth your time, and it can come with a great meal and perhaps even a friendship that you will come to appreciate.

 

Happy Holidays, everyone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reminder for the Working Dead – Wait Before You Hit SEND! How to Stop Responding Right Away to Upsetting Emails

I think we’ve all been down this road before.

You receive an email from someone and your first impulse is to start typing, “Dear Idiot to whom I have responded 10 times and have gotten nowhere on the same topic, which by the way, I don’t really care about. ”

Okay. Yes, as the WorkingDead, we have every right to be zombie mad.

Like a virus taking over, your mind is filling up with what I call “anger bubbles” that are about to burst any second now.

And the best thing you can do at this moment is to hum. Yep, try it. Go ahead… hum to you favorite tune. Distract yourself in any way possible to find your composure before responding. Heck, you may choose not to respond until tomorrow.

The point is, I’ve learned that there is no reason to feed into your frustration or anger by responding immediately to an upsetting email. (that and I tend to make grammatical errors on angry responses. Look how you upset me!! Look at all these typos!!)

When you try to respond in an agitated state, your brain is working through all those anger bubbles to arrive at what really matters – communicating your thoughts effectively.

And what happens to an otherwise well-formed thought once it goes through these anger bubbles? Well, it varies from person to person, but the end result is rarely ever constructive.

So just a friendly reminder to us all:

To create a more positive and friendly work-environment, lets make an effort to walk/hum/snack/doodle/think before we (happily) hit send.

Treats , not Tricks!

Don’t Let Meetings Demoralize Your Team: Meeting Planner Tips for Every Leader

So just how exactly can you avoid having demoralizing meetings?

Each meeting should aim to model these four key elements: Purpose, Preface, Discussion, and Decision.

Lets call this meeting model PPDD, dangerously close to PTSD, I know, and for a good reason.

Bad meetings can leave your employees feelings like they have the stomach flu (or any other unforeseen medical emergencies) each and every time you call a meeting.

“In a recent Harris poll, sponsored by the online collaboration company Clarizen, 46 percent of respondents said they’d prefer to do almost anything else instead of sitting in a status meeting. Seventeen percent said they would choose to watch paint dry. Eight percent said they would opt for root canal.” (Source: Inc)

 

As much as I love watching my DIY paint project come to fruition, some of the worst meetings I have attended have been the notorious “status” meetings or as we call it, the “check-in” or “routine” meetings. (Paging employee #1. What’s your status, over? Employee #1 checking in, over. Just let me do my job, over.)

So the next time you have the urge to call a meeting, don’t forget to address everything on PPDD prior to scheduling one. If you cannot answer the Purpose and the Preface without having to say “just because” or “because I feel like we need one” (your feelings are very wrong!), you probably should reconsider calling everyone into a meeting.

 

Each of the four key meeting elements addresses at least one important question.

 

Purpose – Answers WHAT.

What are you hoping to address at the meeting and what issues are you trying to resolve? What is the end result you hope to accomplish?

 

Preface – Answers WHY.

Why is it imperative that you address the issue with your team? Is this something that must be addressed immediately?

 

Discussion- Answers HOW.

How do we solve the problem, make adjustments, or move forward with an existing plan? How are you going to tackle challenges, improve performance, and keep your team motivated?

 

Decision – Answers WHO.

Who has the expertise to address your WHAT, WHY, and HOW? What are the responsibilities of each team member in implementing ideas and plans from Discussion?

 

Once you are able to formulate concrete answers to the Purpose and Preface, aim to tackle both Discussion and Decision during the meeting. Each employee should leave the meeting with a clear understanding of all key points covered during Discussion and Decision.

 

Here’s an example of a well-established PPDD. At the end of the meeting, each person should be able to agree on the details of all four key elements:

 

P – Creating marketing materials for our new program. Content must be updated within the next few weeks.

P – There is an opportunity to market our new program at the next meet-up in 3 weeks. By then, the group must come up with ideas for web and user interface design, downloadable materials, and flyers

D – The website is outdated and we need our new program information visible on the landing page. According to analytics, our blog has the most views from our target audience – the blog should be utilized to attract more following.

D – Larry will work with Lara on flyers and downloadable content for the website by next Thursday. Jack and Dorsey will work on updating company blog by next Wednesday.

 

Just to give you an idea of how a meeting can go wrong, here’s an example of a PPDD flop:

 

P – There’s a meet-up in a few weeks. We should have a meeting to discuss what we should do.

P – There is an opportunity to market our new program. Someone should do something, so lets talk.

D – The website is outdated and we need new program information visible on the page. Why is no one handling this? It should have been taken care of last month! By the way, how is the open house event coming along? When will we expect to have a company get together?

D – That was a great discussion.   Lets plan to meet next Wednesday since there’s a meet-up in a few weeks. We should have a meeting to discuss what we should do.  Is everyone free to meet next Wednesday?

 

A bad meeting, therefore, lacks specifics in both the Purpose and the Preface and then ends the meeting by repeating the Purpose in the Decision process. The result is one or both of two unfortunate scenarios:

Everyone leaves the meeting frustrated or confused without a clear sense of his/her responsibility in addressing topics discussed. More meetings are necessary to address the real task at hand, possibly leaving important goals to be met very last minute or the entire topic is postponed, creating a consensus among employees that “nothing gets done”.

If we wish to rely on meetings to address challenges, create solutions, and to move our teams forward, perhaps we first need to address the ways in which we plan and execute our meetings.

 

Happy Leading!

Motivation Monday: Celebrate “I” but Don’t Forget “US”

“We are CactI, because we know what it means to be a CactUS”

Happy Monday! Here’s to another week of celebrating our individuality while learning to lead as a team.

#mondaylaughs #dowhatyoulove #lovewhereyouwork #cactusfordesks

 

#motivationmonday #teamwork #webelongtogether #funnyquotes #ifplantscouldtalk

Brain Teaser Questions for Job Seekers – Tips on How to Answer Odd Interview Questions

So I wanted to share some pretty random, totally legal, and wildly interesting interview questions I’ve come across. (Some I answered well; some I answered with “uuuummmmmmmmmmmmm ….” Yup. It happens. It happened to me three times in a row at one interview. What came after can only be described as feeling like I had carried my car back home on my right shoulder. ) To be very honest, I’m not so certain that these questions are a be-all end-all measure of one’s creativity or critical thinking skills, but some companies do rely heavily on these questions to select from a pool of equally qualified candidates.

There is no right or wrong answer; but you must be ready to dazzle and to inspire!  In order to do this, you must train and re-train your brain. 

Managing People You Don’t Like (Let’s Face it. We Can’t Like Everyone We Work With)

From www.dreamacareer.com

In a perfect world, everyone on your team is a star player with a fantastic attitude and a go-above-and-beyond willingness to get the job done. Unfortunately, I and many other young managers have found ourselves losing sleep (because we want our people to succeed! Help ME help YOU) over a few “bad apples” we need to motivate (the person we have that dreaded “Help ME help YOU” conversation with). Remember how when we were captains during PE time and there’s that ONE kid nobody wants on the team? (Of course, it wasn’t me. Um…yeah, of course, like NEVER.) Maybe you were that one kid or maybe you were the captain faced with the decision of having to, reluctantly, choose this person. And everyone is whispering in your ear, “No. Not him. No no no!! We’ll lose.”

Well, unfortunately, I have learned that this situation wasn’t exclusive to my middle school PE time. For better or worse, it followed me well into management and beyond.

So how do we work with employees that we (or anyone else on the team) just can’t seem to get along with? How do we avoid having the awkward “hey listen, sorry but we need let you go” conversation from ever taking place? And is there anything we can do to help these individuals succeed?

1. Is It Behaviour or Attitude? There’s a Difference.

I’ve always been an advocate of “Hire Character. Train Skill.” You can hire the right personality and train this person with the necessary skills for the job. And most of the times, s/he will soar like an eagle in no time. They are smart, witty, eager to learn, and most importantly, pleasant to work with. People with a bad attitude, no matter the depth of their knowledge or the strength of their skills, are going to damage your team. And it’s your responsibility as a leader to address this problem as soon as possible. As a manager, it’s important and necessary to distinguish between behavior that can be re-learned or changed with mentorship from a bad attitude that will most likely take a lobotomy (#thereisaidit) to change. Understand that attitudes are incredibly difficult to change. (I understand that we want to change people. And believe me, a few can. But change is a two way street. We simply can not hold onto people hoping and believing that they are capable of this grand change when all facts point to something else.) I have seen many great managers who faltered (I have even witnessed a few coworkers become physically ill from the stress) at having to “manage” a negative-attitude employee. If it’s an attitude problem that shows no signs of improving (this person is apparently not on the lobotomy waiting list), you must have that difficult conversation (I’m sorry. We need to let you go). The sooner you address this issue, the better. Your team will respect you for being a decisive manager and appreciate your support for the growth of the team.

2. People Who Just “Don’t Get It” or the “Oddball”

Ok, I admit. All managers do have their favorites. Some managers like driven, ambitious individuals who love to challenge your ideas, and some managers like deep philosophical types who like to analyze, calculate, and work independently. Some managers love both! What’s important to remember as a manager is that you cannot allow these personal preferences get in the way of you appreciating true genius. I may be very vocal and enjoy working with those who are vocal like me and isn’t afraid to engage in debates. But this preference shouldn’t take anything away from the shy and quite (and fabulous) employee who isn’t as vocal about everything s/he does.   Ever heard someone say, “s/he just doesn’t get it”? In office politics, we may hear this a lot about those who seemingly can’t jive to the office groove. But if you’ve ever been a manager, you realize that your team-building skill is the ultimate test of your leadership capabilities. (Everybody, PLEASE just get along! PLEASE!)

This is where your mentorship is needed. Whether it’s a pow-wow session on every Monday morning, individualized meetings, or team-building cook-off events, it is your responsibility as a leader to build and design this team! Celebrate individualism while maintaining a team atmosphere. Show respect at all times. Do not, under any circumstances, engage in gossip or any type of behavior that reinforces the “yeah, that person is a weirdo” attitude in your employees. Don’t allow bullying to happen at your workplace. Adults (and sometimes we act like children) can fall into the trap of “group mentality” where an otherwise great staff can be ostracized for harmless but odd/different behavior. (Hey c’mon, we can’t all be the same. Let the person be.) Create an inclusive environment where you openly address the differences, but be firm on the fact that everyone on the team is an equal part of the other.

3. Is it ME??!!!?? It CAN’T be Me…

The most dreaded question of all. Is it ME? Am I the dreaded boss or the employee that everyone just hates to work with? So what happens now?

We’re quick to point out the fault in others, but sometimes, it’s difficult to see the faults in our own behaviors. If you’re really the person that everyone dreads to work with, it’s time for some deep (go to a mountain top and zen out) self-reflection. Ask yourself how your behavior (or attitude) is damaging the team and/or your reputation. Sometimes, honesty may be the key. Have an open conversation with your manager or your colleagues. Be genuine in your approach and remember that you must WANT to change.   Ask your coworkers to immediately point out when you’re being disrespectful, negative, or otherwise disruptive. Seek support and understanding. Let your team know that you genuinely want to help the team thrive, and that you want to be a part of that success. And stay committed to this promise. Perhaps you don’t even realize that you’re being negative, and you need (it’s painful, but trust me, it’s for your own good) someone to point it out to you. And most importantly, don’t be afraid to apologize (Managers, yes, you- don’t be afraid to apologize). Being able to admit one’s mistakes is a wonderful skill to possess.

You will realize that just as in all human relationships, communication is central to establishing a great environment. Every team is a unique make-up of its individual genius. Practice it, communicate it, and build a team that can agree to disagree.

#LEADERSHIP #Millenialmanagers #getalong #teambuilding