From www.dreamacareer.com
In a perfect world, everyone on your team is a star player with a fantastic attitude and a go-above-and-beyond willingness to get the job done. Unfortunately, I and many other young managers have found ourselves losing sleep (because we want our people to succeed! Help ME help YOU) over a few “bad apples” we need to motivate (the person we have that dreaded “Help ME help YOU” conversation with). Remember how when we were captains during PE time and there’s that ONE kid nobody wants on the team? (Of course, it wasn’t me. Um…yeah, of course, like NEVER.) Maybe you were that one kid or maybe you were the captain faced with the decision of having to, reluctantly, choose this person. And everyone is whispering in your ear, “No. Not him. No no no!! We’ll lose.”
Well, unfortunately, I have learned that this situation wasn’t exclusive to my middle school PE time. For better or worse, it followed me well into management and beyond.
So how do we work with employees that we (or anyone else on the team) just can’t seem to get along with? How do we avoid having the awkward “hey listen, sorry but we need let you go” conversation from ever taking place? And is there anything we can do to help these individuals succeed?
1. Is It Behaviour or Attitude? There’s a Difference.
I’ve always been an advocate of “Hire Character. Train Skill.” You can hire the right personality and train this person with the necessary skills for the job. And most of the times, s/he will soar like an eagle in no time. They are smart, witty, eager to learn, and most importantly, pleasant to work with. People with a bad attitude, no matter the depth of their knowledge or the strength of their skills, are going to damage your team. And it’s your responsibility as a leader to address this problem as soon as possible. As a manager, it’s important and necessary to distinguish between behavior that can be re-learned or changed with mentorship from a bad attitude that will most likely take a lobotomy (#thereisaidit) to change. Understand that attitudes are incredibly difficult to change. (I understand that we want to change people. And believe me, a few can. But change is a two way street. We simply can not hold onto people hoping and believing that they are capable of this grand change when all facts point to something else.) I have seen many great managers who faltered (I have even witnessed a few coworkers become physically ill from the stress) at having to “manage” a negative-attitude employee. If it’s an attitude problem that shows no signs of improving (this person is apparently not on the lobotomy waiting list), you must have that difficult conversation (I’m sorry. We need to let you go). The sooner you address this issue, the better. Your team will respect you for being a decisive manager and appreciate your support for the growth of the team.
2. People Who Just “Don’t Get It” or the “Oddball”
Ok, I admit. All managers do have their favorites. Some managers like driven, ambitious individuals who love to challenge your ideas, and some managers like deep philosophical types who like to analyze, calculate, and work independently. Some managers love both! What’s important to remember as a manager is that you cannot allow these personal preferences get in the way of you appreciating true genius. I may be very vocal and enjoy working with those who are vocal like me and isn’t afraid to engage in debates. But this preference shouldn’t take anything away from the shy and quite (and fabulous) employee who isn’t as vocal about everything s/he does. Ever heard someone say, “s/he just doesn’t get it”? In office politics, we may hear this a lot about those who seemingly can’t jive to the office groove. But if you’ve ever been a manager, you realize that your team-building skill is the ultimate test of your leadership capabilities. (Everybody, PLEASE just get along! PLEASE!)
This is where your mentorship is needed. Whether it’s a pow-wow session on every Monday morning, individualized meetings, or team-building cook-off events, it is your responsibility as a leader to build and design this team! Celebrate individualism while maintaining a team atmosphere. Show respect at all times. Do not, under any circumstances, engage in gossip or any type of behavior that reinforces the “yeah, that person is a weirdo” attitude in your employees. Don’t allow bullying to happen at your workplace. Adults (and sometimes we act like children) can fall into the trap of “group mentality” where an otherwise great staff can be ostracized for harmless but odd/different behavior. (Hey c’mon, we can’t all be the same. Let the person be.) Create an inclusive environment where you openly address the differences, but be firm on the fact that everyone on the team is an equal part of the other.
3. Is it ME??!!!?? It CAN’T be Me…
The most dreaded question of all. Is it ME? Am I the dreaded boss or the employee that everyone just hates to work with? So what happens now?
We’re quick to point out the fault in others, but sometimes, it’s difficult to see the faults in our own behaviors. If you’re really the person that everyone dreads to work with, it’s time for some deep (go to a mountain top and zen out) self-reflection. Ask yourself how your behavior (or attitude) is damaging the team and/or your reputation. Sometimes, honesty may be the key. Have an open conversation with your manager or your colleagues. Be genuine in your approach and remember that you must WANT to change. Ask your coworkers to immediately point out when you’re being disrespectful, negative, or otherwise disruptive. Seek support and understanding. Let your team know that you genuinely want to help the team thrive, and that you want to be a part of that success. And stay committed to this promise. Perhaps you don’t even realize that you’re being negative, and you need (it’s painful, but trust me, it’s for your own good) someone to point it out to you. And most importantly, don’t be afraid to apologize (Managers, yes, you- don’t be afraid to apologize). Being able to admit one’s mistakes is a wonderful skill to possess.
You will realize that just as in all human relationships, communication is central to establishing a great environment. Every team is a unique make-up of its individual genius. Practice it, communicate it, and build a team that can agree to disagree.
#LEADERSHIP #Millenialmanagers #getalong #teambuilding
Dream a Career 