Have you ever received one of those Chinese fortune cookie messages that left you wondering, “huh?”
I received a peculiar one some years ago (And I’ve kept it!) that said: “By hearing, one will only learn HALF truths”
So on my drive back to work, I was intensely focused on figuring out the meaning of this message. And yes, I did wonder why, of all the messages in all the cookies that could have possibly landed on my bill, it had to be this one. I realize it was just 2-inches of thin paper rolled into a Chinese fortune cookie, but it stirred something within me.
When I arrived back at the office, one of my lovely staff came into my office to ask a seemingly innocuous question.
Staff: “Hey boss, do we have plans on hiring more student workers?”
Me: “No. Not as of now.”
Staff: “Oh….ok.”
Me: “Anything else?”
Staff: “Nope. I was just wondering if you were going to hire more students. Ok then. ”
Me: “Ok.”
Just another ordinary Boss to Staff conversation, right? WRONG!!!
This was an occasion where I, unfortunately, just discovered “half truths”.
I was hearing what my staff was saying and responding to her questions, but I was not listening.
If I had truly listened to my staff, I would have discovered the full truth:
- The number of our service population for the past few weeks had more than doubled, from 15 to 35.
- 2 student workers were returning to school full-time in less than a month
- Headquarters was asking the staff to input more detailed data into the central information bank.
You see, I ask for things directly when I need it.
My boss recognizes that I need X, Y, and Z, because I will specifically request for these things when the need arises.
What I forgot to recognize at this time was that my staff doesn’t communicate the same way that I do. I had forgotten to ask my staff “why”. Even if she hadn’t specified the need to hire new student workers, I should have inferred this easily from our conversation. But I didn’t. Somehow, in between answering emails and meeting deadlines, the question of “why” had eluded me.
I know that as Managers, we are always facing an insurmountable list of tasks and an ever-stringent timeline.
We receive anywhere from 20 to 50 questions from clients each day and we answer just as many emails on program policies, new hires, ongoing projects, trainings, etc. One manager once jested that half of our time is actually spent reading emails and responding.
But this is exactly why we are managers.
We hold knowledge and expertise that must be shared with others.
And this is exactly why we cannot forget to ask people, “why?”
We cannot risk hearing only half-truths.
I know that some managers may argue that it is the staff that needs to be more specific or clear in terms of making requests or speaking to management.
But that is exactly why we, in management, are expected to be leaders. We are expected to lead the team in clarifying ideas and goals. Our job is to listen to their needs and clarify items accordingly. Communication is always a two-way street.
The definition of listening is “paying attention to” or “give attention with the ear”.
And by “paying attention to” instead of simply hearing what our staff shares with us, we can become better leaders.
Have you asked “why” today?
By listening, one will learn the WHOLE truth. And leaders are always eager to learn.
Happy Listening !
Dream a Career 